


Tendencies and Bravery

by GolM



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/F, Fingering, First Kiss, First Time, Praise Kink, Sexual Tension, Smut, Yaz is a TOP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25386781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GolM/pseuds/GolM
Summary: They never mention it.It becomes one in a long list of things Yaz doesn’t ask the Doctor.‘What happened to the Master?’ ‘Why do you look so sad when you think we’re not watching?’‘Do you remember when I pinned you to a door and you liked it?’
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 124





	Tendencies and Bravery

It had started innocently enough.

They were running, as was the standard. The Doctor led the charge with Yaz close on her tail, while Ryan and Graham brought up the rear. In the corridor behind them, a large centipede-like alien skittered after them. They’d been answering a distress call, something about a pest control problem, when said pests broke down the door and forced the station into lockdown. They had managed to lose the majority of them in the maze-like station, but their remaining pursuer was relentless.

Yaz felt her heart in her throat as her feet struck the metal floor. They could only outrun it for so long and, judging by the increasing volume of the clicking of hard exoskeleton on metal, their time was running out.

At the next intersection of corridors, she grabbed the Doctor’s hand like a lifeline and pulled her down the hallway to the right.

“Split up!” She yelled at Ryan and Graham over her shoulder.

Ryan nodded, taking the hallway to the left at a sprint while Graham panted and struggled to keep pace behind him.

Thankfully, it would seem that neither of the boys would need to run for much longer since the bug-alien slammed hard into the wall at the beginning of the intersection before speeding down the hallway after Yaz and the Doctor.

“Wait! Here!” A tug on her wrist pulled Yaz into a dark space, and the Doctor shut the door behind them, putting her back to it.

She looked at Yaz, opening her mouth to speak, but Yaz jolted forward, shoving her hand over the Doctor’s mouth to keep her quiet. The adrenaline in her system caused her to overshoot by a bit and she ended up pinning the Doctor to the door, her hand at her mouth and her ears straining for a sign that they would be followed.

The skittering grew louder and louder, and Yaz tensed on reflex, her whole body leaning into the Doctor’s for some sense of comfort. She scarcely breathed as the creature reached their hiding spot, and she could tell from the rigid feel of the body against hers that the Doctor must be listening just as closely.

There was no pause in the alien’s movements as it raced past their hiding spot and continued down the hallway in search of its prey.

Yaz sagged with relief, releasing the breath she’d been holding against the Doctor’s neck as her head dropped forward.

“Close one,” She chuckled, “Can’t believe it’s bugs again. Thought we were done after the spiders.” She felt the Doctor shiver with her whole body, as tightly pressed as they were, and frowned. “Should be safe to leave in a second, though, yeah?” Yaz asked, raising her head back up to look at her friend.

Her breath caught at the sight before her.

Even in the dim lighting of what must have been some kind of storage closet, she could see how the Doctor’s hazel irises had been overtaken by her pupils. They looked hazy, like she’d been drinking. Her hair was a mess from the running, and her cheeks were flushed. Her head was tilted back against the door, likely caused by the hand still covering her mouth, but Yaz couldn’t even register the thought as her gaze was drawn to her exposed throat.

Her eyes dragged down to the heaving chest that was still pressed against her own, and she could swear she felt twin heartbeats pounding so hard it almost seemed like they were trying to escape. Their hips were pressed together, and Yaz’s leg had slipped between the Doctor’s own at some point.

She felt trembling thighs squeeze around her own, and Yaz swallowed.

Looking back up into wide eyes that gazed back at her with some unreadable emotion, Yaz removed her hand slowly, almost hesitantly. For some reason, she didn’t want to. She wanted to keep the Doctor right where she was. Pressed up against her and shaking with a hand covering parted lips that were heaving desperate breaths.

Desperate. That’s how she looked.

Her fingertips dragged slightly on the Doctor’s lower lip as she pulled them away, and she could literally _feel_ her breath hitch.

Yaz swayed forward, pulled by some force she couldn’t even try to resist. Her mouth was at the Doctor’s ear, and for just the barest second her lips grazed against the delicate shell.

“Doctor?” She whispered. A question or a plea, she couldn’t tell. Whatever the case, the Doctor certainly responded.

The smallest noise escaped the older woman’s throat and Yaz felt the hips against her own shift. No, not shift.

_Grind._

A wave of something powerful washed over her then, and every muscle in her body tensed like she was preparing to run again. Or fight, maybe. She lifted her leg just slightly, raising her lips to her ear.

“Doc—”

“Doctor!” Ryan’s voice echoed down the hallway, accompanied by footsteps racing their way.

Something in Yaz’s mind seemed to come back online, then, and she pulled fully away from the Doctor. The woman in question immediately moved away from the door, turning around and fumbling with the handle before they were exposed to the harsh light of the corridor once more.

She walked with purpose in her steps toward Ryan’s voice, leaving Yaz behind in the darkened door frame wondering what the _hell_ had just happened.

\--

They never mention it.

It becomes one in a long list of things Yaz doesn’t ask the Doctor.

_‘What happened to the Master?’ ‘Why do you look so sad when you think we’re not watching?’_

_‘Do you remember when I pinned you to a door and you liked it?’_

Yaz tries to put it from her mind, focusing on the present and the dangers that constantly surround them when traveling with their alien companion. But, she doesn’t manage to forget. In fact, it becomes a constant thought that swirls through her mind whenever she has a moment of quiet to truly think.

It’s not until they’re surrounded by seemingly unbeatable odds for the umpteenth time that she can do anything about it.

They’re on another space station, but this one is hurtling towards a burning star at full speed, and the crew won’t stop pointing their weapons at them and arguing long enough for the Doctor to save their lives. Typical, really. Yaz is wracking her brain to find some way to help when one of the more trigger happy-looking crew members turns and points his gun in her direction. If she hadn’t been facing the Doctor, she might not have caught the sudden rage tinted fear that washed over her features, but she did. And she couldn’t let that escalate any further.

“That’s enough.” She spoke in what she’d deemed her ‘chief voice’. It’s the one she had built up for when she would eventually take over the Sheffield precinct. She may have only been police-in-training, but she knew where she would end up. In charge. “You lot are so content swinging your guns around that you’ll probably kill each other long before the station even reaches the star. Proud of yourselves, are you?” She looked around at them, and a few of them lowered their eyes, but their weapons were still up. “We came here because of a distress call that _one of you_ sent. You’d think we’d have earned ourselves a warmer welcome, but instead you threaten to kill us for wanting to save you? You’re acting like children.” Now the weapons were falling, and a few of the crew that Yaz had made eye contact with were outright blushing.

“We sent for _help_.” A man walked up to Yaz, getting close to her but keeping his weapon pointed at the floor. “Not whatever you lot are. We need a _professional_ , not two teenagers, a self-proclaimed ‘bus driver’, and whatever the annoying one is.” He gestured toward the Doctor, and Yaz could feel her whole face go cold. She stepped into the man’s space, getting right in his face, and his eyes went wide.

“If you want to live past the next 3 hours, you’ll accept the _help_ of two teenagers, a bus driver, and the _professional_ in the corner who is the only hope of saving your life. So why don’t you stop trying so hard to get yourself killed and do us all a favor? _Sit down and be quiet._ ” She nearly whispered those last words, but in the silence that had taken over the room she had no doubt everyone heard. “You lot.” She addressed the crew members behind him.

“Y-Yes, ma’am?” One of them seemed to snap out of his stupor to answer her.

“Problem is in the engine room, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Take whoever you can spare and go there. We don’t have a lot of time, so we’re probably going to need the extra hands.”

The man actually _saluted_ her before rushing down the hallway, presumably toward the engine room, with the majority of the remaining crew following his lead.

The ‘leader’ sputtered, “What do you think you’re—”

“What did I say about being quiet?” Yaz didn’t raise her voice, but she might as well have shouted for how quickly he shut up. She turned from him. “Doctor?”

Maybe she should have waited for the Doctor to start in on these people. Maybe she should have been patient and quiet while they threatened their lives until the Doctor calmed them down and made it clear that she could help. Maybe she should have done a lot of things, but if she had, she wouldn’t have been able to witness the utterly lost look on the Doctor’s face.

Big and dark eyes were staring at her with such _heated_ bewilderment that Yaz nearly blushed. The Doctor’s jaw hung open, her lips parted, and a flush was crawling its way up her neck. She looked a bit dazed.

“Doctor?” Yaz repeats, and the woman in question jolted like she’d been electrocuted. Her back straightened and her shoulders pulled back.

“Yeah?” Her voice was rough and husky, like she’d just woken up. She cleared her throat, “Yeah, Yaz?”

“Go save their lives.”

The Doctor lurched into motion, rushing after the crew that had departed to the engine room. Ryan and Graham follow, though not without giving her impressed stares that she barely acknowledged.

Her mind was too busy, even as she ran to the engine room. Even as they fixed the engine and sped away from the star, saving the day again. A theory was forming in her mind – one she was trying to convince herself not to act on. She knew if she did, there might not be any more saving the day for her. She could ruin the friendship she had with this incredible being and be dropped back off in Sheffield to live out the rest of her days as a police officer. Maybe someday police chief. It was too big a risk.

But if there was anything Yaz had learned while traveling with the Doctor, it was that the biggest risks had the best rewards.

\--

More often than not, Yaz was grateful for the Doctor’s uncanny ability to talk her way out of any situation. She’d ramble and rave about different – sometimes completely unrelated – things until a plan, or even part of one had formed in her mind. Yaz just had to sit back and let her.

The times when she wasn’t quite as grateful were when the Doctor pushed it just that little bit too far and decided that instead of distracting, she’d try antagonizing. Sometimes it would work and whatever enemy they were fighting would take the bait and mess up their own plan, or just spill the whole thing so the Doctor didn’t have to waste time trying to figure it out. Other times, it bit them in the ass.

Like this time.

Yaz dodged to the left just as a pit of sand exploded right where she’d been standing. She sprinted toward the TARDIS with a writhing mass of snake looking aliens dove in and out of the sand behind her, firing off a shot before disappearing below the dunes again. With a last burst of energy, she catapulted through the blue doors, slamming them shut behind her and leaning against them as if the added weight would do more to keep their attackers out than the TARDIS shields. The moment her back rested against the wood, she heard the tell-tale sound of the engine firing up and taking them away from danger.

She let herself slide down until she was seated on the cool metal floor, her head falling back as she took a moment to breathe.

“Doc,” Graham sounded a little more collected than she’d have expected, but he’d been much closer to the TARDIS when the firing started, “was that really necessary?”

“How was I supposed to know they’d get so upset?” The Doctor danced around the console, sounding much happier than Yaz thought was deserved.

“You thought they wouldn’t get upset when you desecrated their sacred relic?” Yaz glared. She could feel her sweat staining her undershirt, and she whipped off her jacket for some relief.

“It was a stick! A normal stick!”

“That you _knew_ was sacred _before_ you used it to draw a caricature of their _queen_ in the sand.”

“They started it!”

“And you had to end it, did you?” Yaz finally regained a bit more lucidity and fully took in the state of the Doctor. “You’re bleeding.”

“What?” The Doctor raised a hand to her cheek where the skin had split from a graze of those strange guns they’d been using. “Oh, it’s nothing. Should be fine in the morning.”

“Speaking of, I think I’m going to get a head start. Need my beauty sleep after that nonsense.” Graham sighed heavily, making his way to his room.

“Yeah, I’m with you on this one. I think I’ve gotten my workout in for the day.” Ryan limped a bit as he followed, having twisted his ankle during a tumble down one of the dunes.

Soon it was just Yaz and the Doctor, who was still pulling levers and twisting nobs on the console. Yaz had a suspicion that it was a ploy considering they were already ‘parked’ from what Yaz could tell.

“You off to bed too, Yaz?” The Doctor asked without looking at her.

“Soon as you let me see to that cut I will be.” She answered, rising from her seated position and making her way toward the Doctor.

“As I said, it’ll be fine by morning. There’s no need—”

“Doctor.” Yaz kept her tone purposefully firm as she reached the Doctor. “Let me help. If only so I can sleep without worrying about you, yeah?”

The Doctor’s shoulders slumped a bit – a tension Yaz hadn’t even seen releasing from her spine. She eyed Yaz warily even as she complied, “Alright.”

Yaz had her sit on one of the beds in the infirmary while she faced her in a chair. She pulled a jar of cream out from one of the cabinets before returning to sit just a bit too close to the Doctor. Yaz’s knees were on either side of one of the Doctor’s legs as she leaned in to apply the cream to her cut. At the first touch, the Doctor hissed and pulled away.

“Did you know, I got this ointment on Lyul Gij back when the twelfth emperor was still ruling? A party animal, that one.” The Doctor gestured with her hands, inadvertently forcing Yaz out of her space. “Of course, his idea of a party required ritual sacrifice.”

“Stop moving, Doctor. I have to put this on you.” Yaz moved in again, gathering more of the cream on her fingers and reaching for the Doctor’s face.

“But there was this incredible healer. Well, part-time healer, part-time concubine.” She continued as if she hadn’t spoken, but Yaz could see a slight flush in her cheeks as those nervous eyes looked anywhere but at her.

“Doctor.” She tried to interrupt.

“And she saw that the Hyuil trees on the planet – they have green bark and brown leaves – had certain properties that allowed for—”

Yaz reached forward past the flailing hands and grabbed the Doctor’s jaw, gently but firmly.

“Sit still.” She ordered, and the Doctor listened – her entire body freezing in place. Yaz used her left hand to dab the ointment on the cut, and the Doctor didn’t flinch away this time. She didn’t so much as breath from what Yaz could tell. Her right hand didn’t move from its place on the Doctor’s jaw, but the fingers of her hand splayed out across her jaw with Yaz’s thumb edging toward the corner of the Doctor’s mouth. Still, the Doctor stayed motionless. “Good girl.”

Yaz didn’t mean much by it – though perhaps it was a bit of a test, even if she would deny it – and when the Doctor took a sharp breath at her words and her mouth fell open, Yaz let her thumb drift with the movement. It rested comfortably over the furthest side of the Doctor’s parted lips. Yaz didn’t acknowledge the change, not shifting her eyes from her work.

Sooner than she’d like, she was done. With one hand, she screwed the lid back on the jar of cream and finally let her gaze wander over the Doctor’s face.

Her eyes were shut. Yaz didn’t know when that had happened, but she took advantage of the opportunity to look. The Doctor looked almost punch-drunk, swaying a bit in her seat so she nuzzled just slightly into Yaz’s hand. The action pushed Yaz’s thumb just the slightest bit into those parted lips, and she swore she could feel the brush of her tongue.

“There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Yaz kept her voice low, trying not to startle the Doctor out of whatever state she was in, but the timelord’s eyelids fluttered at her words. Soon enough, those eyes opened wide once more, and Yaz didn’t need to look hard to see the panic swimming through them. With a sigh, she pulled her hand away and stood to put the jar back where she’d pulled it from. “I’d like it if you let me help every once in a while. I can’t exactly take the hits you can, but I can help patch you up at the very least, Doctor.”

She heard the Doctor clear her throat from behind her but didn’t turn, giving the flustered woman a chance to regain a bit of coherence.

“Right. ‘course, yeah. Sounds—sure.” She turned back to see the older woman gathering herself up off the bed. “I should really…there’s loads to do. TARDIS needs tending to.” She wouldn’t make eye contact with Yaz, gesturing over towards the door with her eyes fixed on the floor.

Yaz took pity on her, “Alright. Goodnight, Doctor.”

That drew the hazel gaze back to her, and Yaz felt herself nearly burn at the heat she saw there.

“Goodnight, Yaz.”

**\--**

The Doctor had taken them to a ‘luxury cruise’, but the ship itself was probably larger than Earth’s moon and sailed through space from planet to planet. All in all, it was exactly the kind of R&R Graham had been pestering the Doctor for months about.

So of course they’d find trouble.

Ryan was two flights below Yaz on the gaming deck – reserved for every kind of gaming from football to the retro pinball machine Yaz had spotted on her way through. Graham had settled down in a lounge chair near one of the pools, and last she’d seen he’d been talking about setting up a game of cards with some older-looking green-skinned folks who seemed excited about the idea. The Doctor had wandered off mumbling something about ‘just checking’ to make sure everything was as peachy keen below deck as it was above.

Yaz expected it wouldn’t be long before she found something. She always did.

That has left Yaz to her own devices for the time being, and she’d spent it mostly wandering from floor to floor, seeing everything the ship had to offer. They were supposed to be staying for a week, after all, and she bet she could manage to spend some time on most of the floors if she gave them each a couple of hours at most. She’d just set out to join Ryan for an hour or two, then after that she’d see what all the fuss was about the top floor for a bit.

Obviously, this was when the Doctor found her.

Maybe ‘found’ wasn’t the right word.

Yaz was headed for the elevator when something smashed into her at full speed, knocking her to the ground and stealing the breath from her lungs.

“Sorry! Bit of a rush – can’t tal—Yaz?!” The Doctor hovered above her, frantic eyes scanning for injury.

“W-What,” Yaz wheezed, “are we ru-running from?”

Her response was a grin and a hand pulling her up.

“I’ll tell you once we lose them!”

Then they were off. Yaz let the Doctor pull her through a winding maze of rooms and corridors, clinging to the Doctor’s hand.

“Do you even know where we’re going?” She yelled to the woman in front of her.

“Not a clue!”

Yaz did little to stifle her laughter, not incredibly worried about whoever it was chasing them hearing it. The echoing laughter coming from the Doctor was more than worth it.

When they reached a door that said ‘limited access – VIP membership’, the Doctor immediately skidded to a stop.

She yanked on the handle, but it was locked tight. Not one to be deterred, the Doctor whipped out her sonic screwdriver, but before she could even point it at the door it whipped open.

“Membership card?” A bored-looking man – Yaz thought it was a man but it was hard to tell with the overlapping plating over their face – held out his hand.

“Oh, of course.” The Doctor pulled her physic paper out of her coat, handing it over for a brief moment before the man nodded and handed it back.

“Gold members. We are delighted to serve you. Should you need for anything please only wave a crew member down and your needs will be filled. You already know the rules of the rooms so I won’t bother repeating them. You should find the gold room three doors back and on your right. Please enjoy your stay.”

“Always do.” The Doctor smiled at him before grabbing Yaz’s hand and slipping through the door. When it shut behind them, they closed their eyes and let out twin sighs of relief.

Immediately upon opening them again, Yaz learned why this room was locked.

Literal piles of bodies were strewn across the floor, and Yaz was only mildly relieved to discover they were alive. At least three-quarters of the occupants of the first room they entered into were completely naked. The other quarter was dressed in all kinds of strange outfits that looked to be more about emphasizing the bare bits than truly covering anything.

“Right.” The Doctor cleared her throat. “Gold room, then?”

“Doctor, what are we doing?” Yaz asked, stepping over a naked purple humanoid that reached a hand up to her. She sidestepped, skipping a bit as she hurried after the Doctor, who had already made her way into the next room.

“Hiding, remember? After the running comes the hiding, usually.” The Doctor’s tone was light and far too casual. Yaz would have suspected her to be unaffected by the situation if it weren’t for the strain in her voice and the red tint taking over the back of her neck and ears. “Just need to blend in for an hour or two and we’ll be golden. Ha! Golden!”

“You never told me who we’re hiding from, exactly.” Yaz tried to tear her eyes away from the platform in the center of the next room but the performance on display was eye-catching in the way that a car crash was. Disturbing, but she couldn’t look away. The cattle prods didn’t help – the screaming sounded far less painful than she would have expected.

“Oh, well. May have snuck my way into the security mainframe – which was far too easy for a system that claims to be unhackable, let me tell you. All I had to do was break into the Captain’s quarters to grab the key to the vault they’ve got on the bottom floor. Weren’t caught by any camera’s but the Captain wasn’t very happy with the whole ‘grand theft’ aspect.” She paused before the next door, shoulders hunching a bit. “And the fact that I copied all their files and uploaded them to the TARDIS. Very illegal, that.”

“Right. How illegal?” Yaz caught up, and the Doctor opened the door to a room that was, for lack of a better term, loud.

Yaz could actually see the slight flinch from the older woman and couldn’t tell if it was from the noise or the question. Either way, she answered as they circled around the scene taking place in the room, making their way to the door the man had told them about.

“Erm. Punishable by death if I recall correctly from what they were shouting as I ran away.”

“Doctor.” She shot her a look.

“Oi! I were only trying to make sure everything was hunky-dory. Oh, never saying that again.”

“Graham deserves a little break, Doctor.”

“I know! I know. But when I open that file up, we’ll see if this is a safe place for him to take that break or not.”

Yaz sighed, coming up to the door that was plainly labeled ‘Gold Room’. She could never tell if the Doctor looked for trouble out of boredom or actual fear that they could be in some kind of unknown danger. She was willing to bet it was a bit of both. She pulled the door open, the Doctor on her heels.

The Gold Room was a bit more to Yasmin’s tastes in that there was no big performance to spectate and no crowd of bodies covering nearly every inch of the floor. Instead, there was slow music playing in the background as several people sat on couches and lounge chairs and at the tables in the corners. Candles were the main source of light, though Yaz spotted a few odd-colored crystals spread about that she thought were more for ambiance than any other effect. It seemed a bit like a mellow bar, apart from the nakedness and the couples and triads around the room that were obviously in the middle of something she felt she shouldn’t be watching.

She spotted an empty couch in the corner of the room, nearly hidden in the shadow cast by the dim lighting, and headed for it. If they were going to blend in, she’d still rather not be the center of attention.

“Well this isn’t bad at all, is it? Love a bit of music, me.” The Doctor rambled, and Yaz waved down one of the uniformed crew members at the edge of the room.

“Yes, miss?”

“Do you have anything non-alcoholic that’s safe for humans to drink?” Yaz asked.

“Of course, miss. Coming right up, and for your friend?”

The Doctor opened her mouth to respond, but Yaz beat her to it, “She’ll have something sweet. The more it tastes like candy, the better.”

“Right away.” With that he took his leave, heading for a bar on the far end of the room.

“Right,” Yaz turned to the Doctor, “How much of you did they see?”

“Oh,” The Doctor stumbled for a second, looking caught-off guard, “Only a bit of my face and the back of my jacket. Had my hood up while I was running ‘till I bumped into you, and I _were_ trying to be sneaky.”

“Take off your jacket.”

“My—what?!”

“Your jacket,” Yaz insisted, “You said they saw it? We can hide it behind one of the couch cushions.”

“Oh,” Her movements were staggered, but the Doctor pulled her jacket off her shoulders and handed it to Yaz. She folded it up neatly and shoved it behind a cushion, sitting with her back to it. The couch itself was incredibly comfortable, and Yaz sunk into the soft fabric.

“And they saw your face?” Yaz frowned, thinking.

“Yeah, but maybe I could find one of those masks I saw a couple of the people on the platform using?”

“Pretty sure they brought those.”

“Yeah, they looked custom made to their faces, but maybe I could have one made? Might not have enough time, but—”

“Sit on my lap,” Yaz ordered.

For once, the Doctor was speechless. Her jaw hung open, but her eyes were on the floor at Yaz’s feet, like she couldn’t bring herself to start that intense connection between them. Yaz studied her.

“Doctor, please look at me.” When she did, Yaz couldn’t read the depth of emotions in her eyes, but she was sure she saw more than a hint of fear. “If you aren’t comfortable with this, I need you to tell me. We can find some other way to fit in, or we could keep going further back into the rooms until we find another way out. We could keep running. This is only one idea, but if they saw your face you could hide it in my shoulder and we’ll look like just another couple in the room. People usually aren’t comfortable looking too close at others’ intimacy, so I think this would work. But only if you’re ok with it.” Yaz let her words settle between them, laying the choice decisively in the Doctor’s hands.

The next few moments felt so heavy that Yaz had to force herself to not hold her breath. The Doctor’s eyes twitched from the floor to her own hands – flicking so quickly Yaz could only barely catch it - to Yaz’s lap, and back to the floor. Finally, she seemed to draw herself up, squaring her shoulders and approaching Yaz.

When the Doctor didn’t turn and instead moved to slowly set one leg on either side of Yaz’s lap, she only just managed to keep the shock from her face.

Gently, the doctor settled in Yaz’s lap, shuffling forward until her head could rest in the dip of her shoulder.

“Probably not the best time to mention, but I meant you could sit on my lap sideways and hide your face. Didn’t think you’d straddle me.” Yaz kept her tone light and was impressed at how calm she sounded when she could feel her heart trying to leap out of her chest.

The Doctor somehow tensed even further, going rigid before starting to move back like she was going to get off, “I—sorry, I’ll just—”

“No.” Yaz rested her hands on the Doctor’s back – light enough that she could easily push away if she wanted to but letting her know she was welcome to stay where she was. “This is good. Even smarter, really. And probably comfier, in the long run. Not that we’ll be here too long.” She might smack herself if she kept talking, but her words did seem to calm a little of the restless energy the Doctor seemed to store.

She wasn’t relaxed by any means, but she wasn’t trying to get up. Yaz took that as a victory. After only a minute of Yaz scanning the room without looking like she was actively looking for anything, she started to think ‘victory’ might be too strong a word. 

The Doctor was technically sitting in her lap, but she held herself as far away from Yaz as she could, like she was trying to touch her as little as possible. Her head was so light on her shoulder, she barely felt it, and the tense thighs on either side of her own informed her that the Doctor was essentially holding herself up over Yaz.

“I don’t bite, Doctor.” She tried to make light of it, but she could hear a bit of strain in her own words.

“Sorry, I’m just…trying to make this as easy as possible.” The Doctor’s voice was quiet, even as close to Yaz’s ear as she was.

“By literally hovering over me for the next couple of hours?” When the Doctor didn’t respond, Yaz’s hand drifted up – nearly of its own accord – and she palmed the back of the doctor’s neck, softly pulling her in. “Please, Doctor, just try to relax. You’re stressing me out and you’ll give yourself a cramp all tensed up like that.”

“…right,” Yaz could _hear_ the Doctor swallow, “Right, well. Pardon me.”

She couldn’t help it. A small, only mildly hysterical giggle bubbled up her throat. She tried to stifle it, but she knew the Doctor heard it. The answering giggle from the woman in her lap lifted a weight from Yaz’s shoulders that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. It also seemed to get the Doctor to finally relax a bit, and she let more of her weight rest on Yaz.

“There you go.” The hand she held to her neck rose through silky blond locks, scratching lightly at the back of the Doctor’s skull. “Not so bad, is it?”

She wasn’t expecting the Doctor to all but _melt_ into her at the first scratch, and her words were muffled against Yaz’s skin. She fought off a shiver.

She stopped scratching, “What was that?”

The Doctor turned her head so it was still resting on her shoulder but her mouth was close enough to Yaz’s neck for her to feel little puffs of her breath against it.

“Feels nice.” The Doctor mumbled.

That was all the incentive she needed to start back up again, and she was rewarded by a pleased little hum from the woman in her lap.

Their drinks came shortly after, but neither woman moved to touch them after they were placed on the little side table next to the couch. The Doctor looked half asleep now that she’d finally relaxed a bit, and Yaz wasn’t willing to break whatever this was for something as pointless as a drink. She didn’t know if she’d ever get another moment like this.

Yaz took the time to get a look at the others around the room – she could lie and say it was to keep an eye out for guards, but she was honestly curious. Plus, it never hurt to make sure no one was paying them too much attention.

There was a triad on the couch on the opposite side of the room. Two of them were fully dressed, though mostly in leather from what Yaz could tell, while the third was completely bare and kneeling on the ground between them. The man on the ground would alternate kissing the legs of the one currently holding onto his hair. The two on the couches would send fond looks down at him every so often.

In the left corner was a couple engaging in a much more open display of…affection. Despite both parties being nearly fully clothed, Yaz felt less comfortable watching them since it was obvious from the motion of their bodies what they were doing. Judging from the wink she received when she made eye contact, they welcomed the attention.

She didn’t want to look to her right, but from the sounds alone she could bet she’d get an eyeful.

“This place isn’t half bad.” Yaz could tell she’d startled the Doctor a bit and when she turned to look at the older woman, she got a curiously raised eyebrow. “I mean, there are places like this back on Earth – not so much in Sheffield, mind you – and I heard about them but never went. I’m not super comfortable with everything going on in all the rooms we passed, but it weren’t like they were forcing us to participate or even stay to watch. Everyone here is just…free.”

“Did you want to?” The Doctor asked. It wasn’t the response she’d expected, but Yaz shrugged.

“I’m not really interested in watching strangers do anything like that, and especially not interested in participating.”

“No, back on Earth.” The Doctor turned her head a bit more and Yaz’s hand moved with it to keep in contact. “Did you want to go to those places you heard about?”

Yaz could only hold that hazel stare for a moment before she looked away.

“Sometimes, yeah,” She pretended she couldn’t feel the heavy weight of the Doctor’s stare boring into the side of her face, “Looked a few up. Almost made the drive out of the city once, but I chickened out.”

“Why?”

Yaz blew out a breath, “I didn’t want to go alone. I knew people met at those places, but I was never the ‘bring a stranger home’ kind of girl. I wanted someone to go with me, and nobody I was ever with seemed interested.”

They were both silent after her admission, and though she kept her gaze wandering around the room, Yaz could tell the Doctor’s study of her face never faltered.

Yaz cleared her throat, “What about you?”

“My wife mentioned it, but we never had the time.”

“Your—” Yaz swallowed around the lump in her throat. “I didn’t know you were married.”

She started to regret this idea. It had seemed like the best chance she’d get, so she’d taken it and run at full speed, but if she’d known the Doctor was already taken she would have come up with something else. Maybe she would have been able to squash her ‘little crush’ earlier. She’d known the woman was emotionally unavailable, but not to this extent. She started to pull her hand away from the Doctor’s scalp, shame burning her cheeks.

“She died.” There was a hand grabbing hers before it could fall past the first bump in the Doctor’s spine, pulling it back into place. Yaz let it rest there gently. “It’s not something I like to talk about.”

“Ok,” Yaz said, “We don’t have to talk about it. But thank you for telling me.”

The Doctor didn’t respond beyond a small nod that Yaz could feel more than see. Then her head dropped back down, resting securely in the curve of Yaz’s neck. Before too long, Yaz resumed her ministrations, and the Doctor sighed in what almost sounded like relief.

Yaz sunk into the couch further, the warm weight of the Doctor on her lap providing some instinctual comfort that lulled her into a strange calm.

“This is actually really nice. Could do without the moaning strangers, but…” The words were out of her mouth as soon as they crossed her mind, but the usual anxiety felt brushed to the side. “You’re really warm.” She breathed the words against the shell of the Doctor’s ear and felt her give a small shudder.

“Tell me a story,” The Doctor said, “It’ll distract you from them.”

Yaz hummed, deciding not to comment on the Doctor’s avoidance, “Alright. You know, I’ve only been to a club – back on earth – one time, and it was because of a dare. It were Sonya’s fault, to be honest; she called me boring.”

The Doctor let out an affronted sound at that, shifting to look at Yaz and consequentially sliding until her hips were completely flush against hers, removing that final space.

“You are _anything_ but boring.” The Doctor stated like it was just another one of the many facts she carried in her pocket.

Yaz huffed a small laugh, leaning in to kiss the Doctor’s temple, “I know.”

“Just making sure.” The Doctor mumbled before nuzzling back into Yaz’s neck.

Yaz sighed, and with the new proximity she could guess the Doctor felt it on her ear and all down her neck. The sudden tensing of thighs around her hips proved her right, and an irresponsible idea wormed its way through her mind. She shuffled a bit like she was uncomfortable in her seat, and the result brought her lips right against the Doctor’s ear, so every word would be whispered against the soft curve of it. The Doctor didn’t relax her legs, but Yaz pretended not to notice.

“Sonya thought it would be funny if my first club was a strip club. Looking back on it, it was a bit funny, and I’m sure Sonya got her laughs in just watching me that night. That was also the night I figured out that I liked women. Quite viscerally, too.” Yaz kept her voice low, almost a hum. She could tell exactly when her words hit home from the tension that rippled through the older woman and quickly – almost forcefully – stopped as soon as it started. She could tell the Doctor was trying to control herself, and Yaz made it her goal of the night to make her lose her tight grip on that control.

“There was this woman.” Yaz continued, only to get interrupted.

“There’s always a woman.” The Doctor sounded like she was speaking from experience, though the nearly hollow laugh gave Yaz pause. She hated when the Doctor let whatever horrible thoughts that ran through her head take over, so she did the first thing she thought of.

Yaz stopped scratching for a moment and grabbed the Doctor’s hair close to her scalp, tugging at it, “Hush. You wanted a story.”

The muffled gasp against her throat and the small movement of hips against her own made Yaz close her eyes and pray for the self-control to not end this story and take the Doctor right on the couch. She knew the woman would probably do something to try and pretend that it hadn’t happened, so Yaz powered through without giving a hint that she’d noticed.

“There was this woman. She was one of the dancers, and obviously one of the more popular ones. There was a huge crowd of old, white-haired men surrounded the stage she was on, and it was practically covered in small bills.”

Yaz could literally feel the Doctor’s ear grow warm under her lips.

“It was so clear to me why she had so many admirers. I couldn’t look directly at her for longer than a few moments at a time, but I’d look over at her whenever I thought Sonya wasn’t looking and – God, Doctor, she could _move_.”

She just about moaned the word and got another bucking of hips for her effort. The Doctor wouldn’t keep still in her lap, subtly moving her hips against Yaz’s with every whispered word. Her hands were clutching Yaz’s biceps, gripping tighter when Yaz would tug at her hair so lightly. She didn’t even know if the Doctor was aware that she was practically grinding on her.

Heavy breaths landed on the side of her neck and soaked into her skin like a balm. Yaz let her mouth run, hardly paying heed to the words escaping it as her focus shifted in its entirety to the Doctor. She ran her fingers down the slope of her neck before returning them into her hair and the fingers on her biceps tightened as a stuttered breath left the blonde. The little sounds the Doctor was trying to muffle against her skin made Yaz bold.

“Do you think you can get off like that?” She asked.

The Doctor went rigid above her, like a toy she’d torn the batteries out of.

“I…” The Doctor breathes out a strained laugh, “I wasn’t—”

Yaz gripped her hair, tugging until the Doctor’s neck was bared. She leaned forward, nipping at the tempting skin.

“I didn’t tell you to stop,” Yaz whispered along the column of her throat.

The Doctor whimpered, her hands moving to Yaz’s back to get a better grip before her hips surged forward once more. This time, there was nothing subtle about it. She’d known the Doctor was getting a bit worked up, but she hadn’t seen the desperation behind it until she’d given the older woman free rein to take what she needed.

Her head was buried back in Yaz’s neck, but the sounds she was making were barely muffled by it. One of Yaz’s hands was on the Doctor’s hips, helping give her that tiny bit of extra friction, and every time Yaz would tug on her hair, her hips would jolt so hard into her that Yaz would almost worry about getting bruises if there weren’t other things on her mind.

“You didn’t answer my question, Doctor,” Yaz husked into her ear.

The blonde whined, the sound breaking off when Yaz tugged her earlobe with her teeth.

“Oh.” The Doctor’s mouth fell open, her eyes going hazy. “Oh, do that again.”

Yaz sucked on it instead, and the cry that came from the Doctor’s mouth sounded almost pained.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” She spoke lowly.

“I…I don’t think…No.” The Doctor managed to get out in between moans.

Yaz held her in place with the hand at her hip, stopping her desperate motions.

“No! No, I—”

“Do you want me to help?” Yaz brought her hand around to the front of the Doctor’s trousers, letting her fingers rest on the top button. She looked into the Doctor’s eyes, waiting.

She watched the Doctor’s eyes regain a bit of clarity, and the timelord gulped before giving her a small nod, “Yes.”

She flicked open the button, pulling the zipper down before stopping. “Yes…”

“ _Please_. Yes, plea— _oh._ ” The Doctor choked on her words when Yaz’s hand slid past her underwear, pressing into wet heat.

“Good girl.” Yaz knew her words were heard when the Doctor practically sobbed into her shoulder. She ran her fingers over her lightly, taking in the sheer amount of wetness that coated them with just one swipe. “All this from talking?”

The Doctor groaned, “It’s not fair. Your voice can sound so—” She cut herself off, biting her lip.

Yaz gathered some of the wetness and brought it up, circling two fingers around the Doctor’s clit - featherlight. “So?”

“I don’t know.” The words left her in a rush as her hips strained forward toward that delicious friction. “Strong. Smooth. Commanding.”

“Commanding?” Yaz lifted an eyebrow. “Do you like it when I tell you what to do, Doctor?”

“Yes. Oh, _please._ Yes.” Yaz rubbed firmer circles over her.

“I like it when you beg.” She whispered before placing open-mouthed kisses along her neck, pausing to bite at the tense cord of muscle there. The hand at her hair alternated between tugging and moving down to grab at the curve of her ass, pulling her into Yaz’s fingers. The Doctor was humping into her hand like if she stopped it might kill her, and after one particularly cruel pass of Yaz’s fingers, she bit lightly into the muscle of her shoulder to stifle the sounds she was making.

“None of that.” Yaz stopped, and the Doctor whimpered in complaint. Yaz tugged on her hair. “I want to hear you.”

The woman in her lap released her skin, leaving a wet imprint, “Sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t stop.”

“That’s my good girl.” Yaz didn’t even start moving before the Doctor moaned, and she was certain that if she’d been inside her, she’d have felt her clench. “Do you like that? When I call you good girl?”

“Yes,” The Doctor panted, “I want to be good for you. I can be so good, I promise.”

Yaz dipped her fingers down, pressing gently before bringing them back up and swirling against her clit. The Doctor groaned, and she did it again. The second groan sounded like it was more out of frustration than anything else.

“And does my good girl want my fingers inside her?” Yaz asked, repeating the motion over and over again until the Doctor was rutting against her hand almost aggressively. She got a hurried nod against her shoulder in response, and she halted again. “Use your words.”

“Please.” The Doctor cried. Her thighs were trembling, but she stopped moving to answer her. “Please, I want them so bad. Please, I’ll do anything.”

“Careful what you promise me, Doctor.” Yaz let out her own groan as she slipped two fingers in with ease. The warmth around her sucked her in like she _needed_ it.

Yaz felt drunk. Despite not having touched her drink, her mind was a slur of whispered praises and overwhelming desire. All she could focus on was the woman in her lap; this woman who she’d longed and pined for that was grinding down on her fingers like they were magic. _The Doctor._ She was fingering the Doctor. In the middle of a crowded room. Yaz didn’t even look away to check if anyone was watching; she knew they were all quite busy, themselves.

“God, I wish I could use both my hands right now and still fuck you.” She curled her fingers on her next thrust, and the Doctor _mewled._ “I wish I had a harness around my hips so I could fuck up into you and tug on your hair and touch your breasts at the same time. I’ve been thinking about those, and I haven’t even gotten to touch them yet.”

“You can,” The Doctor gasped, “you can touch me wherever you like.”

“I know.” Yaz smirked, giving the older woman’s hair a tug for emphasis, “But I can’t do this at the same time.”

“Feeling a bit like you're missing a limb, eh?” The Doctor grinned. Where she had managed to pull her sudden coherence from long enough to be cheeky, Yaz didn’t know. “I know that feeling. Bit like walking out the door in the morning not knowing you’ve left your wallet at home but then you’re already halfway there and you don’t want to turn around and—"

“And, if I had both of my hands, I could put my fingers in your mouth to give it something else to do,” Yaz interrupts.

The Doctor clenches around her fingers, gasping, “Please. I have one in the TARDIS. Got it from a friend. You met him; Jack? Never gotten to use it. Well, I wore it once, but I just wanted to see if it really worked like they’d said. It feels a bit different from my old one, but wow.”

Yaz doesn’t think about it when she leans forward to speak, “Next time. But Doctor?” She thrusts hard, curling her fingers and tapping on her clit with her thumb at the same time. “Stop talking.”

The Doctor practically folds in half with how hard she convulses in her lap. She does as Yaz says, the only words coming out of her mouth being ‘please’ and ‘Yaz’ as she rides Yaz’s fingers.

“There you go,” Yaz whispers softly into her ear, “Just like that. Are you close?”

She only gets a nod, but she forgives it since she doesn’t think the Doctor could fully form much of a thought right then let alone words with how her thighs were shaking and the silky walls around her fingers fluttered.

“Let go, Doctor.” Yaz orders. “Come for me.”

It was like she was waiting for it, and the Doctor let out a wail into Yaz’s neck as she shook atop her. She fucked her through it, only stopping when the Doctor slumped against her. They rested there for a few moments, and Yaz let herself take stock of the room. Nothing much had changed; one couple had left and was replaced by a group of four, but no one was paying any mind to the two of them in their secluded corner of the room.

Slowly, Yaz eased her fingers out of the Doctor, prompting a little shudder. The woman in question leaned back just in time to see Yaz put her fingers in her mouth, cleaning them of any trace of the Doctor. She closed her eyes, relishing in the taste. When she opened them again, the Doctor stared at her with a slack jaw and dark eyes.

“That’s.” The Doctor cleared her throat. “That’s not fair.”

Yaz raised an eyebrow, “No? You get to get off but I don’t even get to taste you?”

The Doctor groaned, letting her head fall back to its resting spot. She fit perfectly there.

“You can’t talk like that.”

“I thought we established that you _liked_ it when I talked like that.”

“Yes.” The Doctor whispered heatedly. “Too much.”

“Then, you’ll just have to do something about it.” Yaz plucked up her courage. “When we’re not surrounded by strangers. I’d rather like to have you on a bed.”

When the Doctor looked at her then, her eyes were filled with something Yaz dared to call _hope_.

The Timelord swallowed, “Next time?”

Yaz smiled, “Next time.”

The Doctor’s returning smile was brighter than the lights around them, and it lit something inside Yaz’s chest on fire. Then, just as suddenly as it appeared, it vanished, replaced by surprised concern.

“Oh! The guards!” The Doctor looked around the room, scanning for their pursuers.

Yaz couldn’t help but laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if I should continue this. On Tumblr @ golemac


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